Whatever happened to blogging?

I don't know why I stopped writing. Pinterest maybe? I have had so many ah-hah moments lately that involve journaling, I fell I should write something. I have a journal....but I would have to leave my computer to go get it and this somehow seems easier. Also, I don't have to find a pencil. I have spent the last 4 hours looking back at the blog I started when Sam was young. It was something I could do while nursing her to stave off the boredom. I feel very homesick for those crazy days when my kids were so little and fit just so in my arms. I am so ready...to be a grandma. In July. Of course she is too far away to hold for very long. A couple of visits and she will be grown up. Lately the pressing forward of time seems to be, well, pressing. Of course anybody who knows me knows I have a hard time writing anything down that may be incriminating or embarrassing, (especially with big brother watching and recording)  so as journaling goes this will be pitiful, but still. I wanted to write something down. Something to say, I am still here. The one thing that really hit me when I read the blog was how long ago it was that I made the last batch of quilts. I am on another quilt binge, but I thought it was just last year that I had made them. No wonder I have so much fabric. I buy it like I make quilts like my mother...constantly. mmmm how to rethink this. My kids are so growing up. Chaz will be baptized soon. Sam is already 6. They are with me all day long and still I feel like I am not with them enough. I don't talk one on one, eyeball to eyeball. I spend more time monitoring and correcting. I have meant to take one of them with me everytime I do an errand. Sam always insists that be her. So do the other kids LOL. How does the Lord stand letting his children have agency? am I still a baby in his eyes?